


Worlds Collide

by Xparrot



Category: One Piece, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Comment Fic, Crack, Crossover, Gen, Whaleverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-24
Updated: 2009-09-24
Packaged: 2017-10-08 19:09:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/78636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xparrot/pseuds/Xparrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three scenes from a cracktastic One Piece crossover with the SGA Whaleverse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worlds Collide

**Author's Note:**

> Naye asked for a OP/SGA x-over; because of the way my mind "works", those pirates got mixed up with her and Sholio's [Whaleverse](http://archiveofourown.org/series/1106), and this short comment-ficlet resulted.

The whales had been making a fuss for weeks, so when it finally opened, fifty kilometers from Atlantis, they were ready, with a couple carpets' of equipment deployed to take readings.

Hovering mid-air beside the carpet, John peered down at the turbulent ocean below. "That's one hell of a wormhole--it's got to be a couple hundred feet across, easy."

"Over a hundred meters in diameter," Rodney said distractedly, poking at his laptop; then he leaned over the carpet's fringe to shout down at the sea, "_No_, do _not_ get any closer! Even if your sonar isn't giving a clear picture--I'll give you the details later!"

He turned back to John. "And it's not a wormhole," he said, "it's a whirlpool. The actual wormhole is under the water; the currents it's stirring are what's creating that."

John gazed down into the whirlpool's gaping maw, the blue water leaping in white froth around the swirling rim. "So have you figured out why we've got a wormhole opening without a gate in the middle of the ocean?"

"I'm _working_ on it--what did I just say?" Rodney launched to his feet, the carpet rippling under him--damn thing was nowhere near as sturdy as a whale's back, but the whales couldn't give him this aerial view. "Keep back, it's not safe--what do you mean, there's someone down there?" He snapped his fingers. "John, scan for life-signs--"

"Life-signs?" John frowned and ran the scan. The bright, massive outlines of the whales appeared on the life detector charm, under the water below, surrounding the rippling energy of the wormhole's vortex--and then within those spiraling patterns, twisting in the currents, shone several smaller dots. Human-sized.

Ronon swooped down from his higher vantage point, wings beating to hold himself level with the carpet. "There's someone down there?"

"Obviously that's what it looks like," Rodney said, "but--no, what did I tell you! Stay back! No rescue missions right now, it's too dangerous!" On the life-signs charm, the glowing shapes of the whales were moving in, heading for those helpless dots tossed in the wild waters.

"We got to help them," Ronon said.

Rodney spared a glance over his shoulder at the Satedan. "Not in those waters, we can't--once they're tossed free of the currents, then we can try to--"

"Probably won't survive the currents," Ronon said, and turning upside down in the air, he folded his wings close against his back to make himself an arrow, and shot headfirst down into the giant mouth of the whirlpool, where the whales were heading

Over the howl of wind, Rodney shouted into his communication charm, "Ronon, get back up here--it's too dangerous--!"

"Even worse for whoever's down there," John said, and tucking in his arms, he dove as well.

"Am I speaking a foreign language?" Rodney demanded to the empty sky. "Does anyone listen to a _single word_ I _say_\--" and he leaned forward to send the carpet swooping down, following his crazy teammates into the maelstrom.

***

It was one heck of a bizarre assortment of individuals they pulled out of the sea. The kid in the soggy straw hat was decidedly peculiar, but he had nothing over the little round animated teddy bear with horns. Or whatever it was. Nothing like any non-human Rodney had ever seen; it looked like something out of George Lucas's most heinous visions. It also had a hat, a water-logged pink one.

The hats seemed to be a theme. The skeleton had a top hat _and_ an afro, which Rodney thought was a bit excessive. It--he--had given them all quite a turn, but while he was very, very weird, he didn't feel _wrong_ the way the Wraith-resurrected did.

Of the lot of them, the young blond guy had seemed the most normal--bad-tempered, what with how he was shouting at his half-drowned and semi-conscious comrades for the whole carpet-ride back; but otherwise ordinary.

At least until they made it to Atlantis, and Teyla met them in the carpet bay. Then the guy was transformed into a crazy fawning rose-gifting shining-eyed...something.

"Incubus?" John whispered to Rodney.

"Does Teyla look be-spelled to you?" Rodney shot back. She looked bemused, maybe, but nowhere near entranced, and Rodney didn't think it was her magic protecting her from the yellow-haired idiot kneeling at her feet and pronouncing a sonnet. Besides, an incubus would surely have a better French accent than that.

Then the skinny kid in red finally coughed up a liter or two of seawater and sat up (much to the relief of the teddy bear with the antlers, who had been ministering to him for the carpet ride, with a frantic and sniffling competency) and the blond teen broke off singing Teyla's praises to charge over and kick the kid in the straw hat in the head. Hard.

"What was that, shit-for-brains?" he cried. "Diving right into a whirlpool!"

The straw-hatted kid rubbed his head, but didn't seem overly fazed, for all the kick had snapped his head back on his neck like a tether ball. "But Nami didn't know what it was, Sanji!"

"That doesn't mean Nami-san was asking you to go swimming in it! And you!" The blond teen rounded on the teddy bear and the skeleton. "What were you doing, diving after him?!"

"But--but Luffy was drowning!" squeaked the teddy bear.

"And then the good Doctor was drowning," the skeleton added. "What else was I to do, but save a crewmate in need?"

"You could have not drowned _yourself_, for starters! It's not noble to try to save a crewmate when _you can't swim!_"

John looked at Rodney. "And you say that _I'm_ suicidal?"

***

[later]

Being mostly drowned when Ronon had fished him out of the sea, Luffy hadn't had occasion to notice the Satedan's wings. That had likely been to his advantage, because when he did notice them, he grinned so wide that he probably would have swallowed half the ocean, if he'd still been in the water. "Awesome!" he cried, black eyes lit up like stars. "Can you fly?"

"Yeah," Ronon said, short as ever, but John could tell by the way he said it that even Ronon wasn't immune to the shining wonder in those wide eyes. For a kid made of rubber who could bench-press an elephant, Luffy was awfully easy to impress.

"That's so great! Do you want to be on my crew?" Luffy asked, and he said it guilelessly enough, a casual offer, like he was asking whether Ronon wanted to join him for lunch. But the kid _meant_ it, John knew. Meant that he wanted Ronon to join his little band of lunatics and set off on some amazing, impossible quest that only Ronon could accomplish--and Ronon would succeed, too. Whatever it was driving Luffy and his crew, ambition or inspiration or sheer insanity--whatever it was, Ronon had it, too.

And he liked the kid, saw in him what John could see in him. "Captain," they all called him, and he might be an idiot but it wasn't a joke. John had seen it before--not often, but a few times. In the late General Hammond, in Jack O'Neill; in Elizabeth Weir, too, for all she was a civilian; it wasn't about being a soldier, but being a leader, the best kind of leader. Luffy's crew didn't obey his orders because they had to, but because they wanted to.

And Ronon would want to; Ronon would follow Luffy, off a cliff or down a whirlpool; follow this crazy kid captain to another world, and gladly, if he said yes.

"No," John said, not meaning to, not realizing he'd done it until after he'd opened his mouth. "No, he's already got a crew, here."

Only after he was done speaking did he realize that Ronon too said no, at the same time John did.

Over Luffy's straw hat, Ronon grinned at him. And Luffy looked back and forth between them--_rubbernecking_, John thought, with a dubious mental snort--and then threw back his head and laughed, wild and loud and honest, like being turned down was the best thing he'd ever heard.


End file.
